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2012 Election’s Biggest Losers

POSTED: November 09, 2012, 12:00 am

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Mitt Romney may have conceded the 2012 presidential election but the Republican candidate had plenty of fellow losers who could have shared the stage with him on Tuesday night. From Rupert Murdoch’s toxic Fox News Channel to pollster Dick Morris, the Republican team went down in flames as its four year effort to unseat the nation’s first African-American President failed. Left bewildered, this merry band of obstructionists is left pointing the finger at each other in trying to explain the Republican Party’s failure to capture the White House for the second consecutive presidential election. So, here is our list of the 2012 Election’s Biggest Losers.

The Fox News Channel
: Rupert Murdoch’s right-wing squawk box was left with little to say after President Obama’s decisive win over Republican Mitt Romney. Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, Lou Dobbs, the hosts (Steve Doocy as lead court jester) of “Fox and Friends,” and Eric Bolling all stand linked at the hip by their fanatical hatred of President Obama. Yeah, they will all make a ton of cash during the next four years bashing President Obama but they still are a bunch of clowns.

Paul Ryan: The House Budget chairman was placed on the GOP ticket due to his supposed economic expertise. Not only could Ryan never make the math work in the Romney economic plan, he nervously drank the equivalent of Lake Michigan during his debate with Vice President Joe Biden. Ryan came off as a boastful (lying about his marathon time) frat boy; an empty suit trying to convince voters he was vice presidential material. Worse, he did not even deliver his home state of Wisconsin.

Frank Luntz: Wow, where do we start? The Republican pollster might want to take a refresher course in statistics because his projections were about as accurate as a Tim Tebow pass. Luntz was also the architect of the party’s messaging that reinforced the GOP’s image as a political dinosaur.

Dick Morris: Morris lines up right behind Luntz in this loser’s parade in the “what data you were you looking at?” crowd. Morris predicted a Romney landslide and challenged the accuracy of every poll that showed President Obama with a lead in the key swing states. Morris seems to have gone underground after the election. He is likely drowning in his sorrows or finding a cliff to end his misery.

Rush Limbaugh: Stick a fork in this turkey and call him done. The right-wing windbag can barely lift his prescription drug bloated carcass out of his studio chair these days. He is now the equivalent of the crazy neighbor who kids mock and throw rocks at his window. Rush longs for the good old days when white men simply commanded people to “do as they are told.” Limbaugh is a troglodyte in a suit and the sooner he steps in the tar pit the better.

Karl Rove: And the gaggle of Republican strategists, including Grover Norquist, who could not have been more wrong in their plotting the Romney campaign. Just the fact that the disgraced Ed Rollins is still on the scene shows how fossilized the GOP has become. At least Ralph Reed had the good sense to keep a low profile during this catastrophe of a campaign. The same can’t be said for GOP “chicks” like Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin and Laura Ingraham who have shamelessly embarrassed women with their airheaded commentary.

Sheldon Adelson
: Talk about an awful return on investment! First, the casino mogul puts his money on Newt Gingrich. Then he spins the wheel on Mitt Romney. Could Adelson’s odds get any worse? Only wrestling impresario Linda McMahon in Connecticut blew more cash and at least she was on the ballot. If Adelson gambles the way he plays politics, we expect to find him on the streets of Vegas like the two wealthy old characters in Eddie Murphy’s “Trading Places.”

Donald Trump
: You can be rich and stupid, but being rich, stupid and vocal makes you an imbecile. Donald Chump has become a caricature of the silver-spoon rich kid who has too much time on his hands. His post-election tweets were the rants of a spoiled brat. We once only laughed at his coiffed scalp; we now just laugh at the Donald and shake our head. We should not entertain this idiot anymore by watching his television show or visiting his casinos and hotels. The Trump name should generate scorn in Black households.

GOP Climate Change Skeptics: As if by divine intervention, Hurricane Sandy descended over the nation’s media capital just days before the presidential election. The deadly storm forced a bombastic Republican governor, Chris Christie of New Jersey, to reach out to a Democratic President to come to the aid of his state. Sandy killed two Republican lies. The first being that states are better equipped to meet the needs of their residents than the federal government. The second lie being that global warming is a hoax. Even the nut jobs on “Fox and Friends” were blaming Hurricane Sandy for Mitt Romney’s defeat. Now that Hurricane Barack kicked their butts they suddenly believe in climate change.

Black Romneyites: Support for Romney was to be expected from longtime Black Republicans. However, when actress Stacey Dash and Black ministers aligned with white evangelicals added their two cents it was a bit much, and added a new dimension to the betrayal factor. Dash not only reprised her dimwit role in “Clueless” in real life, she assumed the role of the Black Vanilla Ice; embracing a culture in direct contradiction to her mixed-race heritage. Black clergy who opposed Obama on the singular issue of abortion simply look like buffoons.

White Men: Oh, it is hard out here being a white man in America these days! Who would have ever thought it would come to this? In a country where white men have traded their privilege to bankrupt corporations and misuse public funds, and take advantage of inside deals, the 2012 presidential election was a wake-up call. It was the equivalent of being thrown into the frigid Atlantic in December on the Jersey shore. President Obama’s election was a reality check for Republican, older white males; the GOP’s base vote. It was a hell of a run but the clock is ticking.

The Tea Party: Sure, they still have folks in Congress representing white homelands but the movement has been exposed as a fringe group on the extreme right. For all the noise and hype, the Tea Party might bear the ultimate responsibility for Mitt Romney’s defeat. Had they not pushed the Republican Party so far right the GOP nominee might have had a chance at defeating an incumbent President in a bad economy. Instead, the Tea Party went off the deep end. Any group that embraces the lunacy of Allen West deserves to go on the political scrap heap.

Glenn Beck: Idiot. Enough Said.

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